of all the people you've known. which ones are your friends?
which ones aren't?
people confuse me.
5.16.2007
5.13.2007
5.12.2007
daily troubles
communication issues.
focus.
memory loss.
these things I fear.
on another note:
I'm growing tired of something. not sure what yet. I have a growing wearyness for something in my life and it will be rooted out eventually. Its interesting how things in my life shift and change so much. I guess I'm just a constantly shifting, changing, evolving person. I wouldn't try to be any other way though.
stevo, signing out.
focus.
memory loss.
these things I fear.
on another note:
I'm growing tired of something. not sure what yet. I have a growing wearyness for something in my life and it will be rooted out eventually. Its interesting how things in my life shift and change so much. I guess I'm just a constantly shifting, changing, evolving person. I wouldn't try to be any other way though.
stevo, signing out.
5.09.2007
5.08.2007
thank you...
(sorry to be a post whore. but i have a lot of stuff to get out for now.)
"thank you drugs, we've appreciated everything"
I don't know what to write. What could I say that could let you see my world ? I fear that i've shifted a bit to the left permanently. I feed my head to hold back facing reality. When your mind works like mine, you can't concentrate. The thoughts never shut off. Listening to them can be maddening, and there are things that I can't explain: Feelings, sounds, Images and strange blends of all of these. I don't fear the normal things anymore, but instead the spiritual, metaphysical and philosophical unknowns that surround me. A shuddering fear of falling into nothing forever. When i open my mind, i spiral out of control, because the Leading has not been taken. I have feared the journey. The gates of heaven were shown but I turned my head and cried. Without full surrender to my creator. True enlightenment cannot be obtained.
Doubt. Fear. Loss. Realization. Surrender. Truth. Truth. Truth.....
"thank you drugs, we've appreciated everything"
I don't know what to write. What could I say that could let you see my world ? I fear that i've shifted a bit to the left permanently. I feed my head to hold back facing reality. When your mind works like mine, you can't concentrate. The thoughts never shut off. Listening to them can be maddening, and there are things that I can't explain: Feelings, sounds, Images and strange blends of all of these. I don't fear the normal things anymore, but instead the spiritual, metaphysical and philosophical unknowns that surround me. A shuddering fear of falling into nothing forever. When i open my mind, i spiral out of control, because the Leading has not been taken. I have feared the journey. The gates of heaven were shown but I turned my head and cried. Without full surrender to my creator. True enlightenment cannot be obtained.
Doubt. Fear. Loss. Realization. Surrender. Truth. Truth. Truth.....
patterns
(excerpt from "Stevo's Chronicles and Odd Writings")
"everything eventually forms a pattern.
take every pattern in the world: images, words, people, animals. everything!
take all those patterns and break them down to one universal pattern...unnessary gibberish"
or is it ?
what if you could "convert" your dog into this "universal pattern" the same way you would take multiple image filetypes and convert them all to .JPG. you could then take your dogs pattern and compare it to your neighbors:
"hmm. your dog has brown hair with white spots...mine has grey spots"
or:
"my dog can roll over, fetch and sit. yours can't do any of those"
ok. now thats a basic example, but you get the idea.
what if we could map out human-kind ? what kind of patterns would we see ? what kind of things could we compare ?
what if we saw the patterns in our wars, government, or religion?
think...post.
"everything eventually forms a pattern.
take every pattern in the world: images, words, people, animals. everything!
take all those patterns and break them down to one universal pattern...unnessary gibberish"
or is it ?
what if you could "convert" your dog into this "universal pattern" the same way you would take multiple image filetypes and convert them all to .JPG. you could then take your dogs pattern and compare it to your neighbors:
"hmm. your dog has brown hair with white spots...mine has grey spots"
or:
"my dog can roll over, fetch and sit. yours can't do any of those"
ok. now thats a basic example, but you get the idea.
what if we could map out human-kind ? what kind of patterns would we see ? what kind of things could we compare ?
what if we saw the patterns in our wars, government, or religion?
think...post.
5.07.2007
some thoughts
here's some thoughts from a conversation i had with one of my roommates.
we were talking about psychedelics and the effects of them...etc...
i was telling him about how now after tripping and staying up for a few days...i see the real(sober) world so much differently...
odd...
there are things i've seen and feelings that i have gotten....that should scare a normal person...
loud voices that have woken me up when im in that place between reality and sleep...
faces...shadows...changes in my perception(and then snapping back to what it was)
does anyone understand ?
sometimes im confused...sometimes i just pass it off as another effect of the drugs...
either way. i feel a need to share this...and hope that someone would be able to shed some more light on my experiences...
we were talking about psychedelics and the effects of them...etc...
i was telling him about how now after tripping and staying up for a few days...i see the real(sober) world so much differently...
odd...
there are things i've seen and feelings that i have gotten....that should scare a normal person...
loud voices that have woken me up when im in that place between reality and sleep...
faces...shadows...changes in my perception(and then snapping back to what it was)
does anyone understand ?
sometimes im confused...sometimes i just pass it off as another effect of the drugs...
either way. i feel a need to share this...and hope that someone would be able to shed some more light on my experiences...
seeing through
somedays...
i would just like to be able to see through everything....
everything thats fake...everything thats not real.
but my reality is so messed up...
i don't know if i will be able to get out of this crazy net....ever...
5.06.2007
head feed
searching your house for a head-change...
why do we feel the need to expand our conscience ?
whats outside this reality that we feel a need to explore...
why do we feel the need to expand our conscience ?
whats outside this reality that we feel a need to explore...
The Three Stages of the Fly
"Come join me with the flies" -me
dedicated to all those who are still addicted.
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